deborah fay

Her whole life led to the moment when she said, This is the life I want. And she never again wasted time on anything that wasn’t.

Kai Skye

Oh, to live the life we want! What a fanciful thing some will say. How Pollyanna, how child-like. You are naïve, they will insist. That isn’t how the world works, you know. Once my own mother, exasperated with my stubborn refusal to give up on Yes, dreams can too, come true…and with furrowed brow and finger stabbing the air in the way only a woman whose own dreams had been pressed from her heart with boulders of life’s burdens stated matter-of-factly, “Life sucks and then you die.” Luckily, after encounters like this, I could retreat to my safe haven where unicorn posters listened, ears perked and eyes brown with sympathy and staring up at pink and purple flowered ruffles that draped my canopy bed, I would wonder just what kind of place this earth was.

Over the years, I’ve never truly lost my child’s heart though I did spend a great many years with her banished to a faraway place for her own good. This is what we do, isn’t it? When the hurts of life become too great, we reach an arm around the tender bits and do whatever necessary to protect them. “Go, on you’ll be safe over there.” Well-meaning as we might be, hurt usually mingles with fear. And fear is a cruel master to entrust our futures to. If we let fear have its way, we risk its dark spell for our life’s entirety, frittering the days away. We may wave off bright experiences tapping on the window; the couch is awfully comfortable and oh, this is the re-run I love. Wary of failure, one of fear’s tastiest carrots, we sit on our hands, avert our eyes, take up the back of the line. No, really you deserve the promotion. He wasn’t my type. I’m not smart enough. Who has the energy for that?? What’s the use? Fear is only too eager to insist that the past repeats itself; if you always do what you always did, you’ll always get what you always got. Therefore, the past becomes the present and of course the future. So, settle in right here. Better safe than sorry to have tried, sorry to have tested the boundaries, to have broken a mold with all that pesky, uncomfortable unknown to face.
Eventually if we live long enough in this way, a heart forms a crust. A barrier that deafens, distances us from our true nature, which is to say our magical nature. As it scabs then scars it becomes a forgetful thing, hardened, misshapen. It forgets that its pulse is singular and irreplaceable; a drum beat of joy, passion, ecstasy, living rightly. As memory fades, so too, does it knowing its song and place in the universe.

Worse still, it is tone deaf to the melodies it once played with the others. Insulated from its knowing, it views otherness with stranger’s eyes, no longer recognizing kin. Generosity gives way to mistrust, open minds close, kindness is reserved for like-kind, compassion portion controlled.

A lost heart is lost to all hearts.

A lost heart is not beyond hope, however. Nor is it forever out of reach to its greater whole. In fact, ours are times of reclaiming lost hearts. Of summoning our wild magic back. Of re-enchanting life. Sharon Blackie, author of The Enchanted Life: Unlocking the Magic of the Everyday, writes, “it is founded on a vivid sense of belongingness to a rich and many-layered world; a profound and whole-hearted participation in the adventure of life.” With magic as a thread leading back to the land of the living, a lost heart can retrace its steps out of a maze of confusion, fear-filled experiences, and soul amnesia to emerge holding new possibilities.

With magic, we can co-create from a position of wholeness and whole-heartedness. As the force of creation, it reminds us that we are interconnected and inseparable from all that is Life, because magic is Life. It is ever present and available to us, like invisible air currents on which the hawk soars, or the blood that courses through our veins nourishing our each and every cell. Magic supports us. We can call aloud on magic to join with our intentions, to shape with us into being the life that we want. It has been said that that which we seek, also seeks us. I think of magic in this form as aware of us and a willing partner to share in the adventure of life that Blackie speaks of. We are magic, and magic is us.
Frequently, all a lost heart needs is a direct encounter with magic to jog its memory and change its trajectory toward this belonginess and re-enchantment Blackie describes. When you pay for the guy behind you in the drive thru line (and no, you don’t know him!), drop a note in the mail to a relative you haven’t seen in ages, offer to babysit for a mom with a newborn, run errands for a house bound neighbor, plant an edible landscape in the town center, these are everyday magics for and of the heart and transformative acts. In the great circle of life, getting and giving, giving and getting can beget greater acts of good and spiral into intentional practices as such.

The magics we need are the ancient ones: starlit skies to lie under, wise trees to lean up against, a child’s wonder-filled eyes to spark our imagination, lark song to sing with, a mountain stream lullaby to calm us. The wild magics reweave wholeness: fire dance and woodsmoke, storytelling and myth making. Speaking the poems, chanting the old words, worshipping at the holy wells, listening in the sacred groves, casting cares to the sea.

Beauty is one of magic’s most persuasive handmaidens. In Beauty: Rediscovering the True Sources of Compassion, Serenity and Hope, John O’Donohue writes, “The human soul is hungry for beauty; we seek it everywhere-in landscape, music, art, clothes, furniture, companionship, love, religion and in ourselves…. When we experience the Beautiful, there is a sense of homecoming. Some of our most wonderful memories are of beautiful places where we felt immediately at home. We feel most alive in the presence of the Beautiful for it meets the needs of our soul.”

Ours are times of reclaiming lost hearts. Of summoning our wild magic back. Of re-enchanting life. In these momentous days ahead, we get to decide how we will contribute to this new world. Will we be the magic makers? At deborah-fay.com we are all about spreading magic because we are convinced that is the way to bring hearts alive, to remember our kinships, connection to one another and earth and do our part to live true.

Travel with me to nature, land and beauty-based destinations, come meet intriguing artisans, makers, healers, farmers, creatives, poets, bards; folks who make, live and breathe their own magic. Roll up your sleeves and create art, crafts, stories, stretch your imagination and talents with workshops and classes. Visit here to find space to just be, check our Instagram page for regular beauty posts. Shop for high vibe Sacred Mists and care packages to elevate and bring good energy into your personal space. Collect Keepsake greeting card sets. They are substantial, yummy to the touch, a delight to write in, and keepsake worthy, much more than a greeting card, they hold the unique energy of the place visited and nature itself! Schedule an intuitive healing session to stay clear and well.

Please do reach out with any questions, queries, and especially stories of how you are living the life you want, your own wild magic life!