Letting Go of the Person I Used To Be:

3 Months in + A Wabi Sabi Future

Letting Go of the Person I Used to Be:
3 Months in + A Wabi Sabi Future

   Hello Friends,

“We hate the idea of loss because we know what loss represents:
Loss=pain. Loss=suffering. Loss=unhappiness.

We cry because of our losses; we despair and become depressed because of our losses; we lose hope because of our losses. We are haunted by our losses and we often define ourselves by our losses. But, and this is an important but, we are also strengthened by our losses. We can change and mature spiritually because of our losses.”

-from Letting Go of the Person You Used To Be: Lessons on Change, Loss and Spiritual Transformation, Lama Surya Das

I’m amazed it’s been a month since I’ve visited with you! It is a testimony to a reality that fits the truth; not what I think I “should” be about, but that which I am capable. I’ve been wanting to be here for the last two weeks and today is finally the day!

It’s just now three months into this new life, and thus far reports are still coming in.  Those that have arrived have my surgeon saying it is as he would wish; no surprises. I admit I was disappointed to see as much as 30% or more of the tumor remaining at the follow up MRI consult. And having more symptoms than I would like to sort out. This, now, is the real work: the being with the ongoing day to day long term management and healing. 

Choices. Always choices. Last week I bumped through some frustration and irritation and was happy to have family to vent to. Fatigue still keeps me reigned in.  And yet as my friend, Valerianna writes of her own health crisis in this stanza from her poem:

 Making My Way Back to the World

…Traveling close enough
to the river of death to dip in a toe,
opened a space in me.

-Valerianna Claff

Times like this open up space inside us. One that may well have been overlooked if not because of it, or even existed at all.
So it is that these seeming constraints and set backs allow me to experience feelings, emotions and a daily rhythm I wouldn’t have in my former life. They construct a distance from a way that wasn’t altogether in line with my deeper rhythms, inclinations and dreams.

(mixed media, (C) 2021)

 We are called to make regular time to turn inward to this “sacred interiority” – the cave of the heart the desert mystics described or the poustinia as the orthodox tradition describes. In this place of refuge and sanctuary – the place where we are reminded that the foundation of everything is Love – we can be and listen and attune to our heart’s longings. Instead of rushing to do and exhausting ourselves, we can choose another path that often feels more difficult because it demands letting go of our agendas and abiding in the space of darkness and mystery. 

-Christine Vaulters Paintner
 This “cave of the heart” is where one is led and the voice of the heart can be heard. Mine has insistent whispers that I am listening to and abiding by. Though I’ve been intuitively living aspects of it for most of my life, I’m drawn to learn more about the Japanese philosophy behind Wabi Sabi. I am reading Wabi Sabi: Japanese Wisdom for A Perfectly Imperfect Life by self-described Japanologist, Beth Kempton.  I find it a rich and detailed source that encourages me to keep on keepin’ on with the intention to live Wabi Sabi’s invitation- “to be present to beauty with open eyes and an open heart.” 

“Wabi Sabi gives you permission to be yourself. It encourages you to do your best but not make yourself ill in pursuit of an unattainable goal of perfection. It gently motions you to relax, slow down and enjoy your life. And it shows you that beauty can be found in the most unlikely of places, making every day a doorway to delight.”

from Wabi Sabi; Japanese Wisdom for a Perfectly Imperfect Life, Beth Kempton

The shifts in direction, the soul deep necessity to spend time making, being in that core of presence as much possible, appreciating the simple joy of creating, of designing perfectly imperfect things-this is the place where I find healing, connection, expression. Now that I am in this active letting go process, these whispers echo and reverberate throughout my days. Despite the physical limitations, I feel freer to be, to focus on what I want, and “making” sure this is how I arrange my flow.

With this comes much to share with you of what is up and coming. Not in a supersize launch but in manageable new-me-wabi-sabi portions……

~ Handemade Holidays Open House both here at the little House, Nov. 27 & 28th, 11am-5pm. and buy online through Facebook Live viewing. 

~ A new Facebook page just for The Wild Magic Way . A place to go deeper into this path with you. This description is my first reveal here of how things are looking now:

The Wild Magic Way is a path of enchantment with Old World roots and Otherworldly spirit. Adornments and magical tools for body, altar, and all your spaces. Courses to help you re-enchant your world. Spiritual Counsel Readings by appointment.

 In my next email,  you’ll get a first look at some of the in progress pieces that will be on sale during the open house whether you come in person on buy online.

In the meantime, and featured in the photo are a selection of altered books and eco-print, watercolor and mixed media embellished book marks….

 Until then, take good care,
Deborah Fay


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